Everyone does... don't you?

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When no one is looking or when you are sure you won’t get caught, what do you do?

Come on, now, we all have our own little idiosyncrasies we don’t like to share with the public but we just can’t help ourselves when we think now one will know.

At home I will often move things a half inch to correct placement. It might be the couch, a chair, a tchotchke (small bauble or miscellaneous item), photograph or rug. Something might just cross my mind in another room or even in a closed cupboard and I get up to adjust. I alter the placement of pillows and throws. I often move this over here and that over there, even from one room to another, until I find just the perfect location. Well, almost. At least, until the impulse strikes again. Actually, it’s only right in my mind because no one else ever notices these discrepancies.

I try not to do this when at someone else’s house but have occasionally adjusted something when alone in a room. I try to keep it to straightening pictures, while wondering how anyone could possibly live with them crooked. Don’t you?


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I have heard people snoop behind the shower curtain, in other folk’s medicine cabinets or cupboards, but to me it’s like rummaging in someone’s underwear drawer. Never happen. But I do change the toilet paper roll if the occupant didn’t realize it was on the wrong way. I bet you do it, too.

I know you are not supposed to touch anything in a garden not your own, so I would never, like some do, snip a flower or pinch a cutting. My gardens are never free of weeds by any stretch of the imagination, but I have to admit I do pull weeds when wandering through anyone else’s garden. Do you snip or pinch or pull a stray weed?

I do not follow a schedule around the house like some folks – laundry on Monday; iron on Tuesday; vacuum on Thursday – that kind of thing. I am more the when-the-notion strikes or company-is-coming type. I try not to look for them but if I happen to see a cobweb, I get that cobweb right away so it won’t distract me further. I do sock mop around the legs of the furniture and sleeve or doily dust on occasion, too. Everyone does, don’t they?

I never fudge my age. I figure I have earned every last year and always admit all of them. I do fib about my weight especially on forms. Don’t you? It might not be a lot but five pounds is five pounds. If it’s not a medical form I don’t see any good reason why whoever I am filling out forms for, needs to know how much I weigh or how tall I am. If it’s for identification you already have my name, address, phone number, email, gender, what I drive and eye colour. All those things can’t change but weight and maybe hair colour are always variable so not needed to know someone’s identity.

Besides when they take my photo for my licence, health card or passport I can’t wear my glasses so no one would recognize me. Getting a bit too invasive, I say, so I feint. Do you think “they” would throw me in jail?


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