Honour your metamorphosis... Declutter for clarity, calm
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Kelly Spencer - Happy Healthy YOU
(A wellness column by Kelly Spencer: writer, life coach, yoga & meditation teacher, holistic healer and a mindful life enthusiast!)
On the weekend, a friend and I went to the Cambridge Butterfly Conservatory. The butterflies were plentiful and were fluttering all around us in various sizes, shapes and colors. One thing they all had in common, was the massive transformation they had undergone from where they were, to where they are right now.
As my friend and I, (both of us having gone through big and bold personal changes and transformations ourselves in the last year) walked through the tropical conservatory, I was reminded of the parallels and to honor transformation and change in our lives.
Change isn’t just one moment or one life event or even just one big revelation or a-ha moment. Transformation occurs in stages and phases and over time, with each development we add depth, texture and multi-dimension to our beings.
It is a process of metamorphosis that can not be rushed or hurried but rather needs to be honored.
I have experienced in my past and have witnessed other people travel through big personal change, whether it was the loss of a loved one or a job, or the end of a relationship and they have hung on to hurt rather than honor. Ego’s “how-dare-you” pain or the lack of understanding of the necessity or opportunity for growth, can lead to lower vibrational feelings of hurt, anger, resentment or victim mentality.
But survival and even thriving occurs when we can honor the metamorphosis, understanding that through the recognition and need for the change in our lives, can assist us to release the limitations to which we were living in. Through this we are offered the ability to embrace our new wings of freedom into a higher, more authentic self. I remember working with someone years ago, that hated their job. The individual complained about it constantly and most definitely was not happy or living their fullest version of life. The daily despise for years became a comfort zone and a familiarity that they had accepted as “life”. Layoffs happened, that directly affected them, and they lost their job. Rather than relief, they expressed angry, betrayal and bitterness. I think in some way they felt the martyrdom that gave by staying in a position they loathed gave some entitlement.
Change and transformation happens so we can grow. When we are not growing, we are dying.
Life is a breathing and moving and ever-changing experience. We must be willing to continuously transform to evolve. And from my experience, if we are not willing to make those changes on our own because of some bent self-sacrificing belief we have, then life will create change for us where we are forced to evolve and enter the metamorphic next stage.
In Hindu philosophy, Shiva is a deity who represents transformation and is known as the destroyer. He reminds us, that the destruction of old beliefs, habits and lifestyles that no longer serve us, that we can step into a life of more joy and love and bliss that through restoration and transformation. Shiva reminds us that endings are beginnings, and that our world is constantly undergoing a cycle of birth, death and rebirth.
Doe Zantamata, Author of “Karma: Happiness in your Life” wrote this poem.
Metamorphosis
On the journey between caterpillar to butterfly, the caterpillar encloses itself into a cocoon. Within that cocoon, the entire caterpillar is broken down into a soup-like mixture. Just about all the major structures are broken down and then rebuilt, including the heart. Soon, the butterfly emerges. Hardly a trace of the caterpillar remains. The butterfly becomes free to fly.
Personal transformation is much the same. Tired of just eating, working, existing, we go within and close off somewhat from the outside world. We re-examine all our beliefs; what we were told, what we learned. The process takes much longer than a few days, but sooner or later, we rebuild. We replace false beliefs, held in our minds, with truths, held in our hearts. We shed the old and begin to emerge anew. Released from our limitations and negative beliefs, we become... free to fly.
Personal metamorphosis can be triggered by a big, life event or profound awareness, often pulling us from the complacency and safety of our own unhappiness. It forces us to re-evaluate and go within the metaphoric cocoon to discover what it is we truly need to live the best and happiest version of our lives.
If you are going through some big changes, perhaps these thoughts might provide some gentle guidance, relief and self-honoring to your journey.
1. Honor the past. Each moment has not been wasted and you have not made mistakes. Let go of judgements of you, them and the situation. You have been just preparing for bigger and better, so honor it all.
2. Look ahead. Sometimes when we are in the middle of it, its too hard to see. Can you imagine if the caterpillar during transformation, looked around the cocoon and concluded this is it? Trust and believe that you are being taken to a better place, where you will have wings to fly!
3. Breathe through the deconstruction. The destruction of what was, is necessary for the restoration and transformation your spirit is craving. Just remember, when you clean out a closet packed full of old “stuff”, you pull it all out, examine it all, throw out what no longer serves you, keep what is still good and restore the closet in a new transformed way that works best in this moment. This is life, an ever-changing experience constantly undergoing a cycle of birth, death and rebirth.
4. Embrace the cocoon. I am not sure who the author of the story of the struggling butterfly is, but here is a quick version. A man finds a butterfly struggling to emerge from the cocoon. It looked as though it would not be able to break free. The man decided to help and opened the cocoon. The butterfly emerged very quickly. It had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The butterfly was unable to fly, ever. You see the butterfly was SUPPOSED to struggle. In fact, the butterfly’s struggle to push its way through the tiny opening of the cocoon pushes the fluid out of its body and into its wings.
So, honor the process.
Happy Metamorphosis.
***
Declutter for clarity, calm
Kelly Spencer - Happy Healthy YOU
(A wellness column by Kelly Spencer: writer, life coach, yoga & meditation teacher, holistic healer and a mindful life enthusiast!)
Last month, I decided to paint my toenails. I have bag of polish, pedicure and manicure tools, that I have had for years. It has some old nail polish in it that I have had since my daughter was a toddler. She is now 22 years old. I sorted and ruffled through the bag to find a polish that wasn’t thick sap or dried up dust. I think there were two or three, and then I put it back where I store it.
I was staring at the bag the other day, annoyed, and asking myself, “why the heck don’t you just throw out the nail polish you know you can never use again?”
Which led me to think, why do we hang on to “stuff” that no longer serves a useful purpose in our life, or that we never use? The more I contemplated, the more I took the idea even further. Why do we allow “clutter” to bog us down?
I remember when I was still a registered nurse with V.O.N., one of my supervisors said, “you can often tell what is going on inside someone’s mind, by the way they keep their house.”
I started to notice this when I made my home visits. The perfectionist home with not a speck of dust and everything neurotically orderly... all the way to the person with a cluttered, dirty home that seemed to not value their environment. I often wondered if it was true? Did the home reflect the mind?
Toys strewn across the floor, dishes that need to be put away and a wardrobe overflowing with stuff. The amount of clutter we have in our homes could be impacting our stress levels, and even how well we sleep. In fact, studies are showing it effects concentration, anxiety and stress levels, leaving us feeling like the to-do-list is overwhelmingly too big which can lead to us worrying how we are going to get it all done. It can also lead to feelings of embarrassment, particularly when someone drops by unexpectedly.
A study conducted by UCLA’s Centre on Everyday Lives and Families, showed clutter could strongly impact a person's mood and self-esteem. The study also showed that men were not as affected or bothered by clutter, like women were.
The human brain is wired to respond positively to order as it's easier for our brains to deal with, Be Brain Fit website reported.
A study by the Princeton University Neuroscience Institute discovered that individuals surrounded by physical clutter in a disorganized environment are less productive and more distracted than otherwise.
According to Eureka Alert, people are at risk to have disrupted sleep due to a cluttered bedroom. A room full of clutter makes it difficult to relax and get a good night's sleep and can lead to further stress and even depression. The constant reminder of the cleaning that needs to be done can create feelings of guilt, each time they are visually reminded of what needs to be done.
Clutter can even have an impact on our physical health with the accumulation of stuff, especially those items, objects and clothes that never get used or worn, attracting and holding dust, mould and animal dander which could increase symptoms of allergies or even asthma.
But clutter isn’t just limited to the physical environment we live in or work at. It could also be mental, emotional, spiritual or digital clutter. When we hang on to old stuff and carry it forward with us to our present moment, and if it does not hold positive value for us, it can be weighing us down and stressing us out and keeping us from living fully in the present moment.
As you go through your physical home, your mind and even your habits, try to categorize, by using the 4-box method to simplify and declutter your life for a happier and healthier space:
1. Keep or put away.
2. Sell or give away.
3. Get rid of and trash it.
4. Store it.
To get you started by decluttering for more clarity and calm, try these tips.
Clothing: If you haven’t worn it in the last two years, consider donating it or throwing it out. If you buy a new sweater, donate one of your old sweaters. Instead of just adding more stuff, replace or pay it forward. Turn all your hangers backwards in your closet. When you wear something, then put the hanger forward. If it is still backwards next year, consider donating the item.
Drawers, cupboards and closets: Sometimes if a drawer gets so messy, it overwhelms me, and I just ignore it and tend not to go into it as often (which totally does not bring relief). Pick a small project once a week and just get it down. Sometimes it feels like a big job, when it only actually takes less than an hour. Literally it took me 120 seconds to go through and hum-chuck my 20-year-old nail polish collection.
Plan big clean up for big jobs: I had a friend that feeling a bit stressed with the clutter in his home as he liked it tidy. He rented a giant garbage bin, recruited some friends and did a big overhaul, filling the bin with “stuff” that was no longer useful to him. He said it felt so good to go through it all and toss. If you need a big clean up and overhaul, then plan for it. Set time aside, round up some friends or family and get it done.
Declutter the mind, heart and spirit: If you’ve been hanging on to baggage from the past and it’s weighing you down, take the time to become more mindful and aware of what you can release, to make room for what you want in your life. Go to a counsellor, life coach, or talk to a friend. Release the mind-muck so that you can have more space for clarity, creativity, joy and fun.
(If you would like to see an article on a specific topic, please email kelly@indigolounge.ca).