Happy Healthy YOU
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Kelly Spencer - Happy Healthy YOU
(A wellness column by Kelly Spencer: writer, life coach, yoga & meditation teacher, holistic healer and a mindful life enthusiast!)
In 2014 we launched an initiative here in Tillsonburg and this past weekend marked the 3rd Annual Choose Kindness Day for our community.
This feel-good-day initiates a ripple effect of appreciation and well-being that can’t fully be described but outlasts the single act and extends further and much deeper. This year was beyond exception for me personally.
Acts of kindness magnify far beyond the isolated moment. Studies reveal that doing good deeds or kind acts, significantly increase positive moods. The emotional warmth of the experience aids to release the hormone Oxytocin. Through a chemical release, the blood vessels dilate. This reduces blood pressure and protects heart health. The result is less stress, balanced nervous system, a healthier immune system and stronger cardiovascular system.
Kindness is good for us all. Recipients, givers and even observers receive the powerful benefits by simply witnessing the exchange.
This year over 40 people gathered for our “Choose Kindness Day”. We met to share our various intentions of action for the day and then headed out to implement.
One group headed to a local laundry mat to offer free loads to patrons. One recipient was tearful with gratitude, expressing the act of kindness came at a time where he was down, witnessed Dr. Mark Dickson.
Another group went to a local retirement / nursing home to hand out donuts and hugs! One participant noted “based on some of the reactions when I hugged them, I wonder how long it’s been since some of them had been hugged. My heart is happy.”
Some from our group went up town to write positive messages in chalk on the sidewalks, leave inspiring notes on people’s windshields and randomly handing out flowers. The smiles on people’s faces as they received the bloom or walked over the chalk messages on the sidewalks, said it all.
Lisa Atkinson, a member of the kindness group said “we may have changed a few people’s day but ours was changed for sure.”
The Oxford Animal Rescue received a visit from one group. I am not sure who was happier, the group (with two small kids) who got to hold little kittens, or the shelter that received bags full of food, supplies and toys?
Others offered their kindness with a pizza party for a Community Living residence, giving out popsicles on a hot day, handing out windmills to kids and free coffee/tea.
Quite simply, I adore this day, witnessing so much connection and love and unity within a community. And while I have been volunteering in different capacities in varied ways over the years, this day was different for me this year.
One of the acts of kindness, my group decided, was go to the Tillsonburg Hospital and hand out teddy bears to patients. We went to the 1st floor and handed out about a dozen fuzzy friends.
With a handful left we headed to the medical-surgical floor. I check in with my mom to see how she is feeling as this floor has an emotional charge to it. My father passed away here just a few years back. My lifelong friend Karen, part of our group, shares with us her father passed away on this floor as well. We wait for a nurse at the front desk to tell us which rooms she feels would be the most appropriate to hand out the teddy bears. She gives us some instruction and off we go.
My mom knows one of the first visits we make and he pleased to see her. Another lady, took the teddy bear, brought it to her face and started to tear. She quietly spoke, “Thank you. Thank you”. My husband and I looked at each other, feeling the raw emotion of the simplest act of kindness and its impact.
The nurse told us “I think the fellow in room 222 would really appreciate one.”
My heart sinks a little bit.
Flash back about three years ago, my father had been treated for chronic leukemia, a condition he had for 10 years. They decided due to its worsening condition to treat with a pill form of chemotherapy. Unfortunately the side effects of chemotherapy can be cancer and he developed a tumor in his femur which broke the bone. He had surgery in London on his leg and they had transferred him back to Tillsonburg Hospital: to Room 222.
Unfortunately the side effects did not create one tumor but many. He was doing well after surgery but they needed to treat the remaining cancerous growths and had scheduled him to transfer back to the London the next day. That night, a tumor in his stomach started to hemorrhage. We got the call to come to the hospital. I was still in my ball uniform. I told him we won the finals. He said “eh to go kid” and those were his last words to me.
I have heard many say they found it beautiful to be with a loved one when they transitioned from this world. And while I would not have wanted to be anywhere else but by his side when he took his last breath, when I think of that moment in Room 222, I do so with sadness and tears.
But on Choose Kindness Day I was given opportunity for healing and new perspective and I believe there is no coincidences. As we walked toward 222, I looked at my mom to check in with her. Her glance and smile let me know she was okay.
When we walked in to the room, there was a man probably about the same age as my dad was, perhaps younger. He was surrounded by his wife, daughter and grandchildren. The nurse let me know he had dementia. I was a nurse myself for 20 years, so I felt comfortable in the setting. We told the family our initiative and intent.
“Can we offer your husband and father a teddy bear?”
I walked around to the other side of the bed and held out the bear “this is for you”. His hands shook as he took the bear and set it on his lap. He then held out his arms open, signifying he wanted a hug. His embrace was surprisingly strong. A huge smile came across his face and his eyes lit up, as I stood back up from leaning over the hospital bed. He looked down at the small bear and then held out his arms again. We hugged once more.
This man perhaps was very confused, with dementia, and seemingly non-verbal, but it felt to me that he completely felt the energy of kindness and received it with pure gratitude. For two days I have thought about this event repetitively with appreciation.
There is healing in kindness that comes in many forms.
Thank you to everyone that participated in this day. Thank you to Kelsey’s that hosted us afterward. Thank you the man in Room 222, the one in the bed and the one in spirit.
(If you would like to see an article on a specific topic, please email kelly@indigolounge.ca)