Happy Healthy YOU
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Kelly Spencer - Happy Healthy YOU
(A wellness column by Kelly Spencer: writer, life coach, yoga & meditation teacher, holistic healer and a mindful life enthusiast!)
'Jane Doe' (real name kept anonymous) lived in North London, a well-to-do place of the city.
She was outgoing, had a large beautiful home and a family that loved her. Her disease didn’t care about any this. Her disease had her sneaking off to the local market where she could buy some cheap wine and sit in the bathroom stalls and shamefully drink until drunk.
“The sicker and more inappropriate my life became, the further I went away from living my code of ethics and the principles in which I believed and the further away from them, the more necessary it became for me to drown the shame and that hole in my soul, with alcohol.”
The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) states the word addiction is often used to refer to any behavior that is out of control in some way. One simple way of describing addiction is the presence of the 4 Cs: craving, loss of control of amount or frequency of use, compulsion to use and use despite consequences.
National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, Inc. (NCADD) reports that more than half of all adults have a family history of alcohol addiction. They also report that alcoholism is the 3rd leading lifestyle-related cause of death in the nation.
The common misguided beliefs of addicts and alcoholics, by the general population are envisioning the “wino” sitting down by the river in a long rain coat and a brown paper bag. It is also believed by many that the folks that suffer from these diseases, just “drink” (or use) too much and that they should just “pace” themselves or “control” their consumption.
“My father used to say to me, ‘Why do you drink the way you do?” and I would reply, ‘I don’t know.’"
Jane Doe says she used to make a whole lot of promises and resolutions around what she wanted to do in regard to her drinking, which had nothing to do with what she was capable of doing. She was an alcoholic.
When Jane Doe was still drinking over 45 years ago, she was placed in hospitals, psychiatric wards and told by many how she should drink, but was never told to not drink at all. Until that is, Jane’s husband went to the local library seeking answers. Upon his return he told his wife that he learned through addiction research material that there was help for her and while he was sorry that she was sick, if she was not prepared to get help, he was not prepared to live his life this way any longer. This help was through Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).
Step one: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
This 12 step program of AA is not about harm reduction, or slowing down or learning new ways to drink. AA advocates abstinence from alcohol with the rationale that alcoholics have a physical allergy coupled with a mental obsession and drinking just one drink sets an alcoholic up for compulsivity with no control then on. It is a progressive disease.
“I have never known anyone over the last 45 years that was an alcoholic and then decided to go out drinking again and claimed it was all a big mistake and that they can drink safely now. It always gets worse.”
In Jane Doe’s experience, AA is the best program to assist the alcoholic. There are other groups such as church affiliated programs which assist the sinners to stop the “sin” through prayer and faith. Jane Doe believes that it is not a sin but a disease with “sick people trying to get well, not bad people trying to do good.”
AA is a spiritual program, but not religious affiliated. It has 12 steps and 12 traditions. These spiritual steps and traditions speak to any religion or even those without belief. Within the program there are sponsors, other sober members that assist, support and guide members. The program of AA is open to anyone with the desire to quit drinking.
There was and although less, a still existing stigma associated with having this disease. A tremendous stigma and shame especially with women in particular was held by society. When AA first started, very few women came forward. More and more these numbers have grown.
“The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous states we are people who would otherwise not mix. We are from everywhere,” says Jane Doe.
Equally afflicted are those with varying education. “The smarter they are, the more difficult to treat because they believe that they can think there way out of it, which in turn, their intellectual arrogance makes them even crazier. But it has nothing to do with their head and everything to do with their soul.”
Alcoholism does not discriminate.
AA understands that while one has to stop drinking to find healing, alcohol is merely the symptom. The healing and work comes within the program after sobriety and treating the underlying disease.
There is more and more research and understanding in the field of addictions now. Alcoholics Anonymous is only 80 years old, co-founded by the late Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith. The founder worked with a man named Rowland, a prominent business man who also sought help with the famous psychologist and psychiatrist, Dr. Carl Jung.
Dr. Jung and Wilson had correspondence with each other in regards to the topic of alcoholism. Dr. Jung concluded in his work with alcoholism, that without a very profound and real psychic change through spiritual experience, the alcoholic is unable to just quit drinking and go on to get well.
Prior to AA many people died of this disease, and continue to for those unable to find recovery. Alcoholism is a disease of the whole being and affects the health of the body, mind and spirit. The effects of the disease are not contained within individual, as the consequential effects encase the entire family surrounding. Addiction is often called a family disease.
Anonymity is an important part of the AA program. Jane Doe states that although we need to honor the anonymity, we also need to not be so private about it that we feel shame or that others can’t see the healing and success that can come from the recovery of those that have found it.
Over the next few weeks I will continue to write more on the topic of addiction – the effects as well as the hope, strength and recovery that is possible.
I would like to express big love and gratitude to “Jane Doe” for sharing her story, experience and philosophy with her over 45 years sobriety. Because of AA, she found healing and recovery. She went on to further her education in the addiction field and became a founder of a treatment centre that has assisted over 20,000 individuals since opening their doors.
For more information online, see these resources: www.aa.org, westovertreatmentcentre.ca, and www.homewoodhealth.com.
(If you would like to see an article on a specific topic, please email kelly@indigolounge.ca)