Man up for Valentine's Day
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OK you guys, she let you watch the Super Bowl, provided you with cold beer, wings and chili and allowed your loud, obnoxious friends to come over for the game. Or she let you out of the house to become a loud, obnoxious friend at someone else’s house or a bar somewhere.
It’s give back time. And you have a whole week to plan, prepare and make sure you do it right. A word of warning - doing anything with the hope of reward or benefit to you is not doing anything for your girl. You have made it all about you and that will spoil it every time.
Originally Valentine’s Day had nothing to do with love or romance. It started out as a church observance of martyrs named Valentine or some version thereof. It didn’t take a romantic turn until the 18th century when it evolved into the giving of flowers, candy and cards. At that time some wise person decided it would be a financially shrewd move to advance this whole romance idea.
But this is not the time to make that distinction to your wife, girlfriend or significant other. As far as you are concerned it is all about love and the depth of your love for the other person and you have to show that.
None of this has to be elaborate but it does have to be sincere – remember this is about the other person. That means no grocery store flowers this time. They are lovely and work for most occasions throughout the year but for Valentine’s Day it has to be a step beyond. But it’s not all about the candy, the flowers and the mushy card. There is so much you can do to make someone’s life a bit easier and thereby showing how very much you appreciate and admire them.
It could mean a nice meal out or better yet, prepared by you and don’t forget to clean up afterwards. It loses some shine if she has to scrub the pots and pans.
Or better yet make dinner together – every night – or at least often. Sharing household chores all year is the greatest gift you can give your partner. An occasional, “You go sit down, honey. I will clean up the dishes,” or “I will give the kids a bath tonight, go watch your show,” or “I can pick up the groceries after work, give me the list,” would be such a show of love for most of us. Folding the laundry, running the vacuum around, an occasional swipe with the dust cloth, making the beds, cleaning the car, the choices are endless. If it’s something you don’t usually do, doing it more often will be like Valentine’s Day all year. Just don’t make the mistake of reminding the other person all the time that you did it or counting up how many times you did any particular chore. Your partner will take note, don’t you worry. But if you make it a big deal or expect recognition for it, it again becomes about you.
Doing these kinds of things is an honest show of your affection and respect. Chocolates are lovely but most of us are trying to lose weight so is kind of counter productive. When we have to throw out dead flowers it seems such a waste. And we really don’t like lacy, frilly teddies. They are uncomfortable and scratchy and not really for our benefit, now are they?
Come on guys, you can do it. Put your mind to it and show how much you really care, not just for the moment or one day but every day. And girls remember it works both ways. You get what you give.
twocentsworth40@hotmail.com